This is the second part in a series about how my life has shifted since I chose to live in the knowledge that I was not created to please man or woman. I was designed to please the Father. This particular post is about being able to see my motives for what they were and then adjusting. Until now I wrestled with self-control and making decisions because I wanted to do things for the right reasons but sometimes I did them for the wrong ones and sometimes I didn’t do them at all because there wasn’t a good reason to. Now, I am more confident in my own desires and more discerning in my decision making.
It is my sincere hope that you understand the power, clarity, and self-awareness that comes when you understand that you were designed for a purpose!
Freedom from motives.
Why am I taking this picture? Why am wearing these clothes? Why am I speaking like this? Why do I NEED to lose weight?
I hesitate to tell you this but agendas like these have become more apparent in my own life:
“If I come here, then they will see, and they’ll know I’m Super spiritual, then maybe they’ll see that I really am good.”
“If I wear this then I won’t look like such a mom, and then I’ll be more relevant”.
“if I post this selfie/quote/rant than that person will know that I see what they are up to and it’s wrong and I’ll end up on top anyways.”
“If they see how ‘happy’ I am, then I win!”
“If I get my degree then I’ll earn respect.”
“I won’t speak up because I don’t know what people will think.”
Insert your actions and motives here: If I do ____________ then ________.
Accepting the notion that I was here for him and not for others had a profound affect on my desires and motives. I began to see my driving forces with clarity. I began to identify what I was really looking for. I was motivated to defend and prove my worth. There were times I was motivated by my own desire for approval. But for years I didn’t even know it, I didn’t even see it! When I recognized that my entire being was by designed by and for God my vision and my actions (and inaction) began to line up.
Knowing that every word that comes out of my mouth is for the Lord and knowing that HE has my back frees me from having to prove myself to anyone and frees me from wanting to lash out. Knowing that He accepts me just as I am releases me to stop pining for the approval of other’s. This knowledge clears my motive, and gives me a new one. And the more I practice this the more skilled I become at discerning my OWN actions. The Bible says we should exhibit self-control. That’s been one of THE MOST difficult things for me to do. Really.
My motivations are becoming less and less fueled by cultural standards, pressures, expectations, ideas, assumptions, values and judgements. Now I can recognize when I give in to those demands or place them on others.
My motivators now? Freedom, joy, love, kindness, acceptance, self-control, and peace; for others and for myself. Jesus paid for you to have those in your life too!
It can work for you too.
What can drive you to success, to peace, or to love more than knowing that the Creator of the World has put an assignment on you and designed you for a specific purpose and time?
You don’t have to prove who you are or prove that you are right. You don’t have to show off or show out to prove that you fit in, you don’t need to fit in. Every day you spend in relationship with Jesus is another day you become less and less motivated to prove that you are enough.
Don’t take my word for it:
- Ephesians 1:11-14
- Isaiah 26:8
- Psalm 23:3
- Psalm 51:6
- Psalm 51:10
- Psalm 86:11
- Proverbs 16:2
- Colossians 3:22-25
This connection and inner work can help you find out why you do anything. It won’t always be super-spiritual. For example: I discovered that one of the reasons I have been so desperate to finish school was because I wanted to prove to my family and peers that I was smart and able. But this closeness to the Father has revealed that 1) I am smart and able with or without a degree and 2) that I don’t need anyone to tell me I am. So now finishing school is about using my gifts and talents to the fullest and about doing something for myself instead of for anyone else. It’s also about making a living in a career I can be passionate about.
To read the first post in this series on being free to love yourself click here.